It’s not often I write these topics but it seems like it’s important to discuss these days and raise awareness about it. This stuff might be common knowledge to most of us but if it educates one person, this post was worth writing. Mental well being is as important as physical health except that the issues are not as visible. It affects every single person on the planet regardless of status and age. It can be hard to spot issues in our family and friends and chances are someone you know will be affected. I certainly never noticed something was wrong in others or I may have been hesitant to act because I wasn’t sure something was wrong. The consequences of struggles fermenting without any attention can have deadly consequences.
Mental health issues are something that affect us all. While it is Men’s Mental Awareness month, we should look out for each other regardless of gender. However one issue that affects men more is the stigma of coming out with their struggles. This is an issue that is caused by society in general, there is no specific group to blame. In fact, I would say that most of us (myself included) are complicit in this to some degree, whether we know it or not.
We all have this idea to a certain degree that men need to be tough. Men typically take pride in being tough, I do this as well. If I get injured, I have a habit of acting as if it doesn’t bother me. I tell people I never cry when I watch sad movies. I love bragging about my fishing adventures and how I endured the elements for 12 hours straight while running on two hours of sleep. While it seems harmless on the surface, it also comes with the need to hide vulnerabilities. Men tend to not be comfortable about opening up about their struggles as it goes against the masculinity standards set by society.
To further compound this issue, people have become more isolated. With many more reasons to stay at home, people have fewer social interactions with others outside of work and school. Not to mention that the Covid-19 pandemic’s impact on social events and further reduced social interactions, often at a critical time for young people. Social media itself is a massive issue itself, artificially inflating egos and increasing insecurities.
How We Can Help Others
This is definitely far from easy to resolve as we have a big ship to turn. Though big changes often come from many small actions from many people. It may not be noticeable in the near future but it’s got to start somewhere.
It may be difficult as it is ingrained into all of us but we need to not put other men down for not meeting masculinity standards. For example people have this idea that men have to enjoy and take pride in certain activities and hobbies. I myself enjoy non-mainstream hobbies that people don’t perceive as “manly” and I have felt judged for that. I’m sure many others have felt the same way. If I like knitting for example, I should be able to freely do it without feeling less of a man. I should be able to go off-roading and simply enjoy it without needing to do it to prove masculinity. Simply put, we just need to accept people for who they are. Of course stereotypes don’t die easily but we have to do what we can.
We will have to embrace that the idea that coming out with our struggles is not a weakness or that it makes someone less of a person. There has been some progress in this matter but it can always use improvement. Being able to express our struggles is the first step to seek help. Unfortunately, there is the obstacle where expressing vulnerabilities can sometimes be used against you. That actually further reinforces men to hide their struggles and the emotions get bottled up more.
These are very complex barriers that we have to overcome. Though we can at least try to do our part, even if it only makes a small difference. I would like to try to let my friends and family know that they can vent or confide to me about their struggles. I am no substitute for a therapist but I’d hope to at least be of some help.
How You Can Help Yourself
Mental health is like physical health in some ways. It is something that has to be constantly maintained and monitored. Of course there will be times just like with physical health where we do need help from someone else. Even with our best efforts, sometimes the issues can be hard to overcome.
In my experience, I generally try to keep my mind occupied as much as possible to stave off bad thoughts. Hobbies give you a purpose and an objective in life. For example, fishing is a never ending goal of understanding the fish and the lakes which always keeps me daydreaming and fantasizing. Being in nature is pretty therapeutic as you do have a sense that you left your struggles back at home for a while. I used to work out solely for mental health reasons (until Covid eliminated that as an option). I never actually lost much weight but I felt like I did something good for myself.
Social media is a major contributing factor to mental health in general. Personally I’m not against it as it does have its benefits. I like sharing my fish pictures with people because I like the feeling of people recognizing my accomplishments. That can be a slippery slope if you get obsessed with it and constantly need the validation. I have my days where I take it too seriously as well. If it really does become a problem, limit your use and maybe even not use it at all. I will admit some of my most relaxing times is when I went out into the wilderness with no internet reception.
This is a hard one and I’m guilty of not doing enough of this but do seek social interactions whenever you can. Even if we’re extremely introverted, we need some sort of social interaction from time to time. It does mean you have to step out of your comfort zone. Perhaps you can join a club or volunteer. Unfortunately many people who lack a social network will go through a really hard time when issues do arise. As much as it’s important to seek help, there will be people who do not feel like they have that option.
Final Words
While writing this, I truly realized how complex and tough it will be to tackle the issues that men face when dealing with their mental health. It did feel pretty intimidating to talk about such a sensitive issue that many tend to avoid bringing up. There may not be an easy solution in sight but with a bit of raised awareness and taking small steps, we can gradually make the world a better place for all.
